On Strength

            One summer day my granddaddy and I were going to walk to store a block behind his house.  I was always barefoot, but he suggested I put my shoes on since the road had just been paved, and the pavement would be hot.

            I told granddaddy “I’m not worried, I always go barefoot.”  So we set out to the store.  Maybe thirty yards away from the driveway to his house that was behind the garage, I began to cry.  He simply picked me up and carried me to the store, bought me a sucker, then carried me back. 

            I kept waiting for him to say ‘I told you so’.  But he never did.  I asked him why he didn’t fuss at me about it, and he said “You know the mistake you made, you don’t need me to point it out.”

            I always admired the strength and wisdom he showed me.  Even then, I could appreciate the qualities that went to make up my granddaddy.  That’s when I decided I wanted to be like him.

On Problems

Granddaddy quotes:

            “If you’re in a race, and don’t ride the best horse, the best you can hope for is to lose.”

            “You don’t have to clutter your mind with knowledge if you know where to find the answers.”

            “You don’t have to be the smartest, if you know and can access the smartest.”

            “All problems have at least three solutions.  If you haven’t found three, you haven’t finished yet.”

            “Take what everyone else would do in a given situation, do the opposite, and you will be right 98% of the time.”

            “Anytime you have a problem, flip it over and look at it from the backside.  You’ll be amazed at how often the answer will appear.”

            One day I was telling Granddaddy the story of my farting and everyone hearing it, and how I was mortified.  I don’t think I knew that word yet, but I will take author’s license and use it here.  I told him I just knew every time I saw anybody, they would be laughing behind my back.  “I just don’t want to go back to school.”

            That was the day that Granddaddy gave me one of the best lessons of my life.  Granddaddy laid back on the grass and said, “I don’t want you to misunderstand what I am about to tell you.  Outside of me and your family that love you deeply, you are simply not that important to anyone else.  If you are fortunate enough for someone to think about you for more than a few minutes, cherish it.  You see, you come into this life alone, and you leave it alone.  If you are fortunate enough to be able to share your life with others, treat it as the treasure it is.”

            Boy could that man say things that rocked my world.  It was at that point, that I adopted the thought process of wanting to please others, but if I can’t, so be it.  Other people’s opinions are just not that important.  When someone wants me to go to church with them, or asks me about my salvation, I am flattered that they care enough to think about me.

            If I hurt someone’s feelings, or make them mad, I apologize and worry about their well being for a time.  I never let that change who I am, however, if I did nothing wrong.  If, in fact, I did do something wrong, I stay in there and fight to rectify the wrong, and hope they will forgive me.

On Fighting

            The next time I went to visit Granddaddy, we, of course, went fishing, and I started to talk to him about fighting.  I told him of a situation where a friend of mine was getting beat up in the restroom at school.  I stepped in to even things up, and got messed up and sent to the principles office.  Then I got 30 licks for fighting.

            He asked me how I felt about that.  I told him I was angry and felt an injustice had been done.  I told him I didn’t want the fight and neither did my friend, but I couldn’t stand by while two people wailed on him. 

            He asked me if I would do it again.  I had to think about it, but then I told him I would.  “Why?” he asked.  I said because it’s just wrong to watch somebody get treated like that.  I waited for him to tell me how stupid I was, but instead with tears in his eyes, kissed me on my forehead and told me how proud of me he was.

            That was when he explained, “Choose your battles wisely, and don’t choose a fight you can’t win.  But you didn’t choose this fight, you just tried to keep things within reason.”        

            “When you enter a battle, don’t hold anything back for dignity.  If the battle is worth fighting, you don’t need dignity.  Never, never, ever quit until you reach the finish line.”

            “Now I’m gonna tell you something I know you won’t understand.”  He said that like I had understood everything he had said so far.  “When you do something, fight, a project at school, sports or even love, do it with all your heart.  Don’t hold anything back, and don’t accept anything but success.”

            “Here’s the tough part, if you don’t quit, you can’t lose.  The second best feeling in the world is investing everything you have and not winning.  Time may simply run out, and it’s not quitting if the game is over. “

            “Before entering a battle, know what winning looks like.  When you win your battle, stop and be gracious.  Let your adversary lose with dignity.”  Boy, did I have some thinking to do!!

On Values

On Values

            To my sister and me, they were always Nanny and Granddaddy.  One day I saw Nanny watching through the window as my sister and I tried smoking.  Thinking I would get ahead of the problem, I went to Granddaddy and told him we were hiding and smoking.  His only comment was “If you have to hide it, you ought not to be doing it!”

            The next day, Granddaddy and I had gone fishing at the ole honey hole, when I asked him about peoples’ reputations and if they were really that important.  His only reply was, “You come into this world with one name, make it count.” 

            I asked what that meant, and his only answer was “Think about it”.

            While thinking about that, I began pondering values and exactly what that means.  I had been to a Christian group and they kept talking about values. 

            Granddaddy said to me, “Your values are what you stand for and who you are.  Absolutely nothing is more important than keeping your values.  Never compromise them, even in the face of death!”

            The next day I started questioning him about truth.  My question was, wouldn’t it be easier to lie about whatever it was, and then you wouldn’t have to get beat up or killed. 

            His words resonate today, “If you tell the truth you don’t have to worry about what you said.  It takes someone willing to invest the energy to remember all the details of what they said, not to get caught in a lie.  Don’t you think it’s easier to tell the truth from the beginning.  Remember, if you have to hide something, you ought not be doing it to start with.”

            “So all I need to do is tell the truth, and everything will be alright?”  I asked him.  He said ‘If anybody ever tries to make you explain your actions, they’re not worth the explanation.  A friend will accept you as you are, and those that demand justifications, simply aren’t worth the trouble.  You will never change their perspective, and they will never understand yours.  Just walk away.”

Cornbread Philosophies

My Grandaddy’s Favorite Quotes

 

In this life, you'll be a stepping stone or a stumbling stone. I prefer being a stepping stone.

When faced with a complex problem, look at the simple and obvious answers first.

Try to never compromise a value.

Don’t answer questions, question answers.

Take what everyone else would do in a given situation, do the opposite, and you will be right 98% of the time.

If you are in a race and don’t ride the best horse, the best you can hope for is to lose.

Take every situation, flip it over and look at it from the other side.

Choose your battles wisely.

Never enter a battle you can’t win.

Before entering a battle, know what winning looks like.

When you reach your goal, quit that task.

Let your adversary lose with dignity.

When you enter a battle, don’t hold anything back for dignity.

If a battle is worth fighting, you don’t need dignity.

The second best feeling in the world is investing everything you have and losing.

It’s not quitting if the game is over.

Never stop until you get to the finish line.

If you don’t quit, you can’t lose, time may simply run out. 

If you have to hide it, you ought not be doing it!

You don’t have to like the truth, but you do have to deal with the truth.

          Don't clutter your mind with knowledge.  Know where to go to find the answer, don't try      to           keep it in your mind.