My biggest memory of my Granddaddy

            My granddaddy was a special man.  Some of him may have been created in my mind, but for the most part memories are clear.  He was also a tough man to get to know.  But I knew him, and still cherish him.

            He told me one day that I was a chosen child of God.  That day he had his hand on my shoulder when he said it.  He said that should not give me a sense of entitlement, but rather I should accept the roll God had placed me in.  That was a roll of leadership and teachings.

            God will always take care of you, as long as you are in his Grace, he said.  And when you fall from Grace, all you have to do is go back where you left him, and he will be there waiting for you.

            Your burden is you must carry out the roll God has laid out for you.  You must take control and lead others, and bring them to the Grace of God.  When your days are troubled, be aware, God is there with you.

            As you walk through life, regardless of what happens, and what you do, if your heart is pure, God will pick you up from the travesties you encounter.  You are his chosen son.

On Business

           My first real interest in business came during the summer before I went into high school.  I had worked for my dad at the service station, and over his objections got the other employees to teach me the mechanics of cars and motorcycles.

            Granddaddy and I were walking one day, and I told him of an idea I had to make some good money, and set me up a good long term business that I thought would only grow in demand and riches.  His first words were “have you talked it over with God?” 

            I said “No.” 

            “Have you talked it over with your dad?” he said.

            Again I replied “No.”

            “Why not?” he asked.

             “Because he would simply tell me why it’s a bad idea, or ‘if it were doing, someone else would already be doing it.’” was my response.

            “Well I can’t say that that hasn’t been one of my concerns for your dad for a long time.  He saw me almost lose the farm once, then he did see me lose it.  And he lived in the depression times, so he knows the value of a regular income and is very conservative.  Listen to both of us, your dad and me, we both have good views to give.” 

            “Now for the real answer, ask your real FATHER.  Discuss it with him, and ask his will be done.  If he blesses it, you keep your eyes on the goal and your real FATHER, and what he would have you do, you simply can’t fail, unless you quit”

            “Did you answer my question, Granddaddy?” I asked.

            “Yeah boy, I gave you the best answer I know how to give, and I give it with love.  If you would like just a little help from me, I’d be glad to help.”  Granddaddy said.

            Then he helped me pray about it every morning before we got started.  I knew I wanted to cut grass, trim, landscape and rake yards.  And I knew I wanted to get paid like everybody else got paid, but if I took certain initiatives, people would pay me more without my asking, and my business would be set, and untouchable by the competition.

            I told Granddaddy, “I’ll tell everybody face to face about what I am going to do, and then even if they have a son that cuts their grass, I can get him into a contest to improve his service.  Then he and I can work together on him getting additional yards and making more money.”

            Granddaddy loved it so far, or at least he said he did.  He asked me, “What are you going to do with all this money?” 

            I told him, “Clearly God get’s His first, then I would take out for expenses, put the rest into savings to buy a whole fleet of mowers.  Then as they brake down, I can open a second business fixing the mowers and keeping them tuned-up for peak performance for the primary business.”

            Again Granddaddy was smiling, and said “I like it.” 

            Since I was winning, I decided to lay the big one on him.  I said, “And once God is pleased, and we have delivered on the two first stages of the business, I would like to buy me some land, or find some I can rent cheaply enough and grow the plants and trees that our customers are buying somewhere else.  If you don’t mind, I would really like to get you involved in this portion, because you love to grow things, and I could learn a lot.”

            This time Granddaddy grabbed me by my head, kissed me on the sweaty top, dried his eyes, and said we could get started on that part today.  We then went and planted about 50 sunflowers, 30 azaleas and about 30 gardenias in his backyard that day. 

            We were in business!!  Together with God!!  We made over $8,000 in 1961 when I was 13.  By the time I was 15, Granddaddy had quit and I was making close to $20,000 annually.

            But as any red blooded American boy would do, I gave the business to a friend and walked away when I turned 16 and got my drivers license.  Some things are simply more important than money.

On Strength

            One summer day my granddaddy and I were going to walk to store a block behind his house.  I was always barefoot, but he suggested I put my shoes on since the road had just been paved, and the pavement would be hot.

            I told granddaddy “I’m not worried, I always go barefoot.”  So we set out to the store.  Maybe thirty yards away from the driveway to his house that was behind the garage, I began to cry.  He simply picked me up and carried me to the store, bought me a sucker, then carried me back. 

            I kept waiting for him to say ‘I told you so’.  But he never did.  I asked him why he didn’t fuss at me about it, and he said “You know the mistake you made, you don’t need me to point it out.”

            I always admired the strength and wisdom he showed me.  Even then, I could appreciate the qualities that went to make up my granddaddy.  That’s when I decided I wanted to be like him.

On Problems

Granddaddy quotes:

            “If you’re in a race, and don’t ride the best horse, the best you can hope for is to lose.”

            “You don’t have to clutter your mind with knowledge if you know where to find the answers.”

            “You don’t have to be the smartest, if you know and can access the smartest.”

            “All problems have at least three solutions.  If you haven’t found three, you haven’t finished yet.”

            “Take what everyone else would do in a given situation, do the opposite, and you will be right 98% of the time.”

            “Anytime you have a problem, flip it over and look at it from the backside.  You’ll be amazed at how often the answer will appear.”

            One day I was telling Granddaddy the story of my farting and everyone hearing it, and how I was mortified.  I don’t think I knew that word yet, but I will take author’s license and use it here.  I told him I just knew every time I saw anybody, they would be laughing behind my back.  “I just don’t want to go back to school.”

            That was the day that Granddaddy gave me one of the best lessons of my life.  Granddaddy laid back on the grass and said, “I don’t want you to misunderstand what I am about to tell you.  Outside of me and your family that love you deeply, you are simply not that important to anyone else.  If you are fortunate enough for someone to think about you for more than a few minutes, cherish it.  You see, you come into this life alone, and you leave it alone.  If you are fortunate enough to be able to share your life with others, treat it as the treasure it is.”

            Boy could that man say things that rocked my world.  It was at that point, that I adopted the thought process of wanting to please others, but if I can’t, so be it.  Other people’s opinions are just not that important.  When someone wants me to go to church with them, or asks me about my salvation, I am flattered that they care enough to think about me.

            If I hurt someone’s feelings, or make them mad, I apologize and worry about their well being for a time.  I never let that change who I am, however, if I did nothing wrong.  If, in fact, I did do something wrong, I stay in there and fight to rectify the wrong, and hope they will forgive me.

On Fighting

            The next time I went to visit Granddaddy, we, of course, went fishing, and I started to talk to him about fighting.  I told him of a situation where a friend of mine was getting beat up in the restroom at school.  I stepped in to even things up, and got messed up and sent to the principles office.  Then I got 30 licks for fighting.

            He asked me how I felt about that.  I told him I was angry and felt an injustice had been done.  I told him I didn’t want the fight and neither did my friend, but I couldn’t stand by while two people wailed on him. 

            He asked me if I would do it again.  I had to think about it, but then I told him I would.  “Why?” he asked.  I said because it’s just wrong to watch somebody get treated like that.  I waited for him to tell me how stupid I was, but instead with tears in his eyes, kissed me on my forehead and told me how proud of me he was.

            That was when he explained, “Choose your battles wisely, and don’t choose a fight you can’t win.  But you didn’t choose this fight, you just tried to keep things within reason.”        

            “When you enter a battle, don’t hold anything back for dignity.  If the battle is worth fighting, you don’t need dignity.  Never, never, ever quit until you reach the finish line.”

            “Now I’m gonna tell you something I know you won’t understand.”  He said that like I had understood everything he had said so far.  “When you do something, fight, a project at school, sports or even love, do it with all your heart.  Don’t hold anything back, and don’t accept anything but success.”

            “Here’s the tough part, if you don’t quit, you can’t lose.  The second best feeling in the world is investing everything you have and not winning.  Time may simply run out, and it’s not quitting if the game is over. “

            “Before entering a battle, know what winning looks like.  When you win your battle, stop and be gracious.  Let your adversary lose with dignity.”  Boy, did I have some thinking to do!!

On Values

On Values

            To my sister and me, they were always Nanny and Granddaddy.  One day I saw Nanny watching through the window as my sister and I tried smoking.  Thinking I would get ahead of the problem, I went to Granddaddy and told him we were hiding and smoking.  His only comment was “If you have to hide it, you ought not to be doing it!”

            The next day, Granddaddy and I had gone fishing at the ole honey hole, when I asked him about peoples’ reputations and if they were really that important.  His only reply was, “You come into this world with one name, make it count.” 

            I asked what that meant, and his only answer was “Think about it”.

            While thinking about that, I began pondering values and exactly what that means.  I had been to a Christian group and they kept talking about values. 

            Granddaddy said to me, “Your values are what you stand for and who you are.  Absolutely nothing is more important than keeping your values.  Never compromise them, even in the face of death!”

            The next day I started questioning him about truth.  My question was, wouldn’t it be easier to lie about whatever it was, and then you wouldn’t have to get beat up or killed. 

            His words resonate today, “If you tell the truth you don’t have to worry about what you said.  It takes someone willing to invest the energy to remember all the details of what they said, not to get caught in a lie.  Don’t you think it’s easier to tell the truth from the beginning.  Remember, if you have to hide something, you ought not be doing it to start with.”

            “So all I need to do is tell the truth, and everything will be alright?”  I asked him.  He said ‘If anybody ever tries to make you explain your actions, they’re not worth the explanation.  A friend will accept you as you are, and those that demand justifications, simply aren’t worth the trouble.  You will never change their perspective, and they will never understand yours.  Just walk away.”

Cornbread Philosophies

My Grandaddy’s Favorite Quotes

 

In this life, you'll be a stepping stone or a stumbling stone. I prefer being a stepping stone.

When faced with a complex problem, look at the simple and obvious answers first.

Try to never compromise a value.

Don’t answer questions, question answers.

Take what everyone else would do in a given situation, do the opposite, and you will be right 98% of the time.

If you are in a race and don’t ride the best horse, the best you can hope for is to lose.

Take every situation, flip it over and look at it from the other side.

Choose your battles wisely.

Never enter a battle you can’t win.

Before entering a battle, know what winning looks like.

When you reach your goal, quit that task.

Let your adversary lose with dignity.

When you enter a battle, don’t hold anything back for dignity.

If a battle is worth fighting, you don’t need dignity.

The second best feeling in the world is investing everything you have and losing.

It’s not quitting if the game is over.

Never stop until you get to the finish line.

If you don’t quit, you can’t lose, time may simply run out. 

If you have to hide it, you ought not be doing it!

You don’t have to like the truth, but you do have to deal with the truth.

          Don't clutter your mind with knowledge.  Know where to go to find the answer, don't try      to           keep it in your mind.